The Cedar Lounge Revolution

As the Irish Voice noted during the recent visit of President Sarkozy to our shores

The most powerful man in Ireland, Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Brian Cowen, welcomed the visitor on the steps of Government Buildings with a handshake and a self-conscious “Bonjour Monsieur le President” followed by a slightly less awkward “Bienvenue.”

Several hours later when they met again for a joint press conference they were new best friends. As they bade farewell to each other they embraced. Sarkozy kissed Cowen on both cheeks. Cowen returned the compliment with a bashful air-kiss.

Watching at the time I couldn’t quite conjure up a word to describe Cowen’s emotions (or actions), but yes, bashful will do. One wonders did anyone from the Department of Foreign Affairs say to him in a quiet moment earlier how keen Sarkozy would be to express their fraternal camaraderie? Because it’s not as if this state has been living under a rock since sometime – oh, say in the early 1920s – and only just emerged blinking into the light of day to gawp at the jets and the mobile phones and the strange ways of those not from our shores.

Funnily enough the Guardian yesterday had one of those sort of articles that seem to proliferate in the G2 section during the summer, entitled ‘A moment on the lips’. And it brought it all back to me.

It argued that:

British businessmen have been warned not to embrace their counterparts on trips to India. But when did we all start smooching our friends, colleagues and acquaintances?

Some fairly broad generalisations being thrown about there I think.

British businessmen, kissing? How wild is that “Not very, actually,” insists Judi James, body language and social behaviour expert. “Social kissing has been common in certain circles in Britain since the 1920s. But until fairly recently it was mostly confined to relatives or close friends, and to what you might call the excitable professions: the theatre, the media, fashion – anywhere you might call someone ‘darling’, basically. It’s now infinitely more widespread. Even accountants do it.” In parts of London, James adds darkly, “We’re now starting to see the advent of non-sexual lip kissing.”

Indeed. But it’s a complex business. There must be some rules, some pointers for our hapless premier… Yet apparently…

…social kissing [on the continent], despite its prevalence in France, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Greece and even staid old Switzerland, is subject to absurdly complex laws.

And talking of France?

France is the really tricky one: depending on who you are, who you’re kissing and where you both happen to be, anything between one and four kisses is de rigueur. Class-wise, the French upper class plump for two pecks; anything more is vulgar. Women will embrace both men and women they have never met before; men will likewise kiss women, perhaps after asking first (”On se fait la bise?”). French men only kiss other men, on the other hand, if they know them very well. Then there are the regional variations.

However, it appears that in business contexts, and what is international diplomacy these days if not business by other means, kissing may be more rather than less frequent. And how to conduct oneself in these circumstances?

To the rescue, thank heavens, rides Judi James. “We badly need some clear rules,” she declares, firmly. “The British weren’t even very good at the handshake, and now we find ourselves having to deal with air kisses, cheek kisses, hugs, squeezes, even lip kisses. It’s not easy. The basic rule, I think, should be that handshakes are fine with anyone, and kisses should be reserved for people you have some kind of relationship with – even if it’s only a business lunch at which you’ve talked about something other than just business.”

Which surely covers the meetings back in July. So again, bashful – lovely, charming, entertaining. But perhaps a little bit more assured a response might be both better optics politically and send a stronger message that – however peripheral in terms of population – we’re still players. It’s just a thought, anyhow.

That said, in a phrase that may chill Cowen’s blood, I read…

And in business, she adds, it’s absolutely vital to remember – even keep a note of – the people you are on kissing terms with. “If you kiss at one meeting and not at the next, they’re going to get entirely the wrong message,” she says.

Roll on that report he must make to the European Council later this year on the Lisbon Treaty vote. And we’ll see if that’s when the kissing stops.