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This Ireland: Do you know or have you heard of this man? July 7, 2008

Posted by WorldbyStorm in This Ireland.

From the recent Hot Press interview by Jason O’Toole with ‘celebrity’ solicitor Gerald Kean:

Q: What type of clients do you handle?

GK: I have 50-odd Premiership footballers and 30 international bands or artists. I don’t want to mention any names of my clients because it would be wrong, but it would be well known that I’m very close to people like Alan Shearer, Peter Reid, Gordon Strachan, Norman Whiteside and Paul McGrath…

… but the strength of the practice is not about that – it’s about people. It’s a people practice.

Q: How did you get so many celebrity clients?

G.K: Again, I got lucky. I met Jim Kerr [’nuff said] and became very good friends with him, and then from him Andy McCluskey of Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark and then I met Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran… I think it’s unfair of the likes of the Mail saying “Self-styled Celebrity Solicitor”. I have regularly contacted the media and said I’m not self-styled and I’ve asked for it not to be used- because ‘celebrity solicitor’ damages my business in that the amount of people that say to me, “God Gerald, I can’t believe you’re so nice”…

…People who know me know that I’m exceptionally honest. If you ask me to send out a letter tomorrow and I forget t do it and the day after you ask me “How’s it going?” I will say, “Jesus! Jason, forgot to send it out.”

I have advised some very high profile clients that got into some difficult situations to admit that you made a mistake. … Years and years before young Jason was working with Hot Press, people would say “Watch Gerry Kean – he’ll be in the Tribunals and tax scams!” I have never set up foreign companies. I have no offshore accounts. I had one offshore account 25 years ago. There’s no offshore accounts. There’s nothing there.

Q: How did you first become a public figure?

GK: I remember many years ago – when you were still a kid in primary school – going to a function with Simon Le Bon and one of the papers at the time – the Sunday Press – asked for a photo of myself and ex-wife Clodagh [reputedly the recipient of a €5m jet for her fortieth birthday] and Simon, and we pulled out of the picture and then the paper said: “Who does Gerald Kean think he is? He wouldn’t get in for a photograph?”, so I said, “I’ll go for the photograph the next time”. So I sort of felt I couldn’t win…

I didn’t go to the funeral [of Katy French] because I was afraid of the newspapers, such as the Mail, saying “Here’s Gerald Kean and Lisa Murphy turning up at the funeral of somebody for the sake of some publicity stunt”.

Q: There were some critica comments made about your recent birthday party, which was certainly extravagant.

G.K: I couldn’t get over the press coverage for something like that… I had to laugh at papers like the Mail going into why I picked – was it King Louis the XIV? Well I didn’t know what I picked! … I didn’t want to have a black tie event – boring! I didn’t want a fancy dress because I didn’t like people coming in Robin Hood rigouts. I wanted to do something different. Then I had this vision, which worked out. It was as good a night as you ever had. We had horses and carriages bringing in the guests and we had choirs calling out their names as they arrived. We had Belinda Carlisle, ABC, Alsan, Lloy Cole and the Commotions, Ronan Keating. And everyone was dressed up and all the girls who were thinking about a boob job decided that it wasn’t necessary because they have these corsets – they were just chuffed with their breasts! All the lads were going around with their wigs, saying “Jesus, I look quite good in a wig!” It wasn’t meant to be serious…

It’s serious alright.


1. Pidge - July 7, 2008

Ah, my Sunday paper reading habit informs me that Lisa Murphy is going out with him. I think Mrs. Merton’s question put it best:


2. Hugh Green - July 7, 2008

Who’s Lisa Murphy?


3. seanachie - July 8, 2008

Sadly yes (though only through Gift Grub’s pisstake of him). What did disturb me was I have a Facebook friend in common with him. Does that make me one his ‘200,000 closest friends’ as he is wont to say?

This will cheer you up. 🙂


4. Pete - July 8, 2008

G Kean is the type of human waste that has become to obivous in recent years. I think a bullet to the back of the head for him and that sick looking yoke Murphy won’t go amiss – failing that (as a interject we must in our law abiding liberal democracy) I bit of time in the Joy slopping out with the Bert would help the two of them attempt to progress towards a state which might at some stage be recongised as human. Peace out.


5. WorldbyStorm - July 8, 2008

Yeah, Mrs. Merton’s words kept coming to mind. Lisa Murphy is Lisa Murphy, but previously she was girlfriend of Michael Flatley. Seanachie, that can’t be right. Pete, this is the froth around the lips of the Celtic Tiger as it staggers somewhere quiet and dark to lie down for a bit… just a bit mind, it’s fine. Really, it’s fine.


6. Gypsy - July 8, 2008

Yeah, I know him. Never found him too objectionable other than his obsession with the Hello/OK lifestyle. That said I know a few people closer to home who are obsessed with those mags too. That’s fine, she can’t understand how anybody can be interested in Phoenix, The Village or the like.
AFAIK he is a good man to sort you out if you are in need of a ticket for a sporting event. He was often to be seen in the wee bar buried in the bowels of the Four Courts a.k.a ‘The Pit’. One enduring memory I have of him, was being in a pub with people who knew him. Gerard walked in with Dermot Morgan and I got to shake Father Teds hand. It wasn’t long before he died so the memory has lasted.
Word had it that the plane ‘present’ was in fact a short term lease. If you were to sum Gerard up, I’d suggest King of the Gimmicks might be a fair summation.


7. WorldbyStorm - July 8, 2008

Or the business of Gerard (or Gerald as he’s known 😉 ) is Gerard. Nice.


8. Dec - July 9, 2008

Funniny enough I now know keam- a sound bloke, very professional solictor and one who genuinely doesn’t solict celeb type stories.


9. WorldbyStorm - July 9, 2008

Could well be Dec, but he sure has a fixation about his public image – or rather how the media perceives him just from the text of the interview. But that doesn’t contradict what you or Gypsy say about him.


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